By Hagit Rabbi


Yanina, a beautiful and talented woman, in her thirties, sits in front of me in a Personal Encounter and asks me for an answer to one of the questions we have all ever asked ourselves: how to find the love of her life. And with a hint of sadness in her voice, she adds: - The truth is that when I look at most married couples, sometimes I doubt if it is really possible -

In this article, I will try to answer this question from two points of view: a psychological one based on Greek philosophy and a spiritual one.

According to the Greeks, there are 3 types of love: Eros, Philia and Agape.

1-    Eros 

It is an idealized form of love, where passion and physical attraction are the driving forces. The focus of Eros is placed on the self: I love you because it makes ME feel good; I love you and that is why I want you to make ME happy. Eros is the sweet and pink love of the movies, which we all die to reach. The problem is that it is not true love but amorousness, and this is the reason why, sooner or later, this stage ends, and in the end, many couples begin to talk about the end of love and even seriously consider the possibility of divorce. What they do not know, is that it is not an end but the beginning of another big stage, love itself.

2-    Philia

This love is based on companionship or friendship. It is a give and take relationship, in which both parties obtain a reciprocal benefit. In a couple relationships, this stage can end, if one of the two stops feeling supported or if one of the parties begins to give preference to work, parents, children or their hobbies, at the expense of their partner. To stay alive over time, first of all, Philia, must include Eros and not replace him, because a nice friendship without sexual attraction, is not enough for the life of a couple. And like Eros, Philia must aspire at some point, to a higher form of love, the unconditional love.

3-    Ágape

Unconditional love. It is a love that lacks any egoism, disinterested and altruistic. Find pleasure and delight in giving. Agape's motto could be: I love you and that's why I want you to be happy. Here are some specific characteristics: the one who loves wants the best for his beloved, feels his worries, experiences his sufferings, but also shares his joys. He has a deep will to protect him so that nothing bad happens to him. He is constantly aware of not hurting him with no gesture, no thought, no words and definitely no action. To create a love that lasts forever, couples must aspire to this higher form of love, which obviously requires hard work, because we can all see how far we are from this type of love and how the ego handles us constantly. 

I want to point out, that although apparently, the one who loves does not gain anything from this giving without condition, at a spiritual level, any pure love awakens our aspiration towards something elevated, it motivates in a natural way to correct himself, liberating him of all the binding of his personality and gives him the opportunity to be his best version.

Claire Rabin, recognized international couples therapist, is one of those psychologists who bases her work on the three terms of Greek philosophy, and guides consulting couples to reach, through work and personal development, this more elevated level of love. What is very interesting is that she even admits that there are couples that are extraordinary, whose love, she describes, as love between souls:

¨ There are couples who do not dedicate an effort to reach this higher level of love. I came to the conclusion that there is what can be called love of souls, although only a few are lucky enough to find it. It is a very special love and when it happens, the couple knows that something unusual happened to them. This type of love connects deeply from the first moment, beyond the romantic attraction, and there is complete harmony between them. Sometimes it seems too good to be true and the couple is afraid that it will end, because relationships of this type have an intense sexual attraction, deep talks at all times and in all places and unconditional love. When the man or woman tastes the flavour of this true love, they know something about the love that most human beings never experienced. ¨

What she describes as a case in a million, which is not able to explain rationally, is actually the love of soulmates or a couple from heaven, as many spiritual teachers speak, in this case Abd Ru Shin author of the Grail Message :

Couples are arranged in heaven: these words indicate that every person, from birth, brings certain personal qualities, which can only develop harmoniously through the influence of those who possess appropriate characteristics. These characteristics are not identical, but complementary, thus reaching the fullness of their value. This does not mean that for every human being there exists only and exclusively a determined person capable of forming a harmonious partner with him, but that there exists for all, several human beings carriers of the complementary elements of the other. Therefore, it is not necessary to wander about the Earth for years to get to find THE right person.

So what do you have to do to find the soul mate and have a happy life as a couple? First and foremost, we must be aware of the family and social mandates that handle us automatically and do not let us make the most important choice of life from an authentic and genuine place. Second, to find the soul mate we need to be connected, but not to Tinder and other social networks that, in most cases, can only bring casual couples to our lives, because they look good on a photo, but we should be connected with our soul. When this happens we are vibrating a certain energy frequency, and attract according to the Law of Attraction, the complementary soul. What really helps this law to materialize and bring true love to our lives, is to be clear about what we really want and pray for this union, which when it comes can be defined as a miracle and a divine grace.

Whether we are working on the couple towards an unselfish love, or if we have been blessed with the love of soul mates, anyway, we have to go back and define love in its pure form, which is to give and to elevate. When the couple comes to live in this frequency, something else happens, which I call the Stage of Influence: the couple feels that their love can not be left only for them and has to expand and influence wider circles. In most couples, this is the intention that lies below the desire to have children. But forming a family is just a way of giving love to the world, and the most important thing is that the couple remembers that the only way to establish a strong and satisfying relationship is not to look at each other and forget about everything, but to transform the energy of their love to change the world.

If you are a woman, you are invited to know the four secrets of WOMAN QUEEN who knows how to live in true love:

  • The connection with your own beauty
  • The true strength of femininity
  • The mission as a woman
  • How to vibrate the frequency of love (whether you are as a couple or if you are looking for it)


Saturday December 01 from 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m.

If you are a man, give a Queen's morning gift to the women of your life.

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